Why people these days do not get married in America

I have been in US for sometime now. Every now and then I would hear someone from my project say that her/his son/daughter is moving in with her/his boy/girl-friend. There are some known people who have been in relationship for more than a decade but haven't got married. This phenomenon is specially more in existence in this part of the world. Though, initially I thought it's a very personal matter to the person's life and so never dared to ask a question about such decisions. I still feel it's very much personal and so none of what I'm writing here is necessarily true. But going by the story of someone whom I know personally and who is a n American, I have something that I wanted to put forth here.

As I said, the opinion here is entirely our (rather my) understanding and is not at all intended to hurt any one's sentiments. Having said that, allow me to begin with the problem statement:

Why people these days do not get married in America?

There are multiple versions of this question too ..for example someone says this is more common among the African Americans ... (see this).


The analysis with my friend says that the situation has changed in the last two decades. Earlier people used to get married and live together. The equations changed when some of the US laws and regulations were enforced and divorce laws came into being and were enforced. Some of the divorced people misused the laws excessively and thereby causing harm to the social understanding that marriage was helpful. Some people (read youngsters) now think that marriage is a license you give to the government that allows greedy opportunistic lawyers to steal everything you own. Here in America there are a lot of people making a lot of money splitting up relationships hunting for people like you to suck you dry.If you are a US citizen and are considering marriage, run from it as fast as you can. If you want to be in a relationship, do it. Buy her a ring, live happily ever after. But a contract with the government doesn't add to the relationship. In fact, because of today's laws, marriage actually hurts the relationship and you are more likely to stay together if you don't get married.
Here comes the more interesting part : if you don't have any money and don't ever plan to have any, this doesn't apply to you. Get married, have children, don't worry. However, if you have a good job, own property, buying a house, you're in trouble. And if you're a programmer like me, it's even worse because software is a concept that is way beyond the mental bandwidth of judges to comprehend here :). Some people believe that if you are thinking of getting married to someone who were divorced in past in US, there are high chances that they get divorced again. Initially when they get married, obviously, things go pretty well for sometime. Sure there would be things that they wouldn't like about the relationship, but they tend to think that they were better off than most couples. Who would have thought that one day you think everything is fine and the next day it's all over. It happens ..and happens again and again in this land. Reports suggest that over 50% of marriages end in divorce these days. If you get married you run a better than even chance that this, or something like divorce where you lose everything you have, could happen to you. The law is such that the husband always gets into trouble. Many times the lady changes her mind about the divorce. However, she learns that the threat of divorce is an effective weapon and it is always there, hanging over the hubby's head. And if she didn't get her way she would threaten the guy with the "D Word".

The problem is something different though. Because of the power the government gives lawyers and judges the ability to steal your stuff, and the power to make your mate's life miserable should you choose to do so, being married is like living with a loaded gun sitting on the kitchen table. And once someone picks that gun up and points it at the other person, your marriage is over and your life is ruined. Because of the court system, marriage is bad for your relationship. The court usually orders the husband to pay for the maintenance and such things while the divorce case continues. If the ruling goes in favor of divorce, the guy is suppose to pay up for regular maintenance, health insurance, lawyer's fees plus any loans etc that the couple might have taken. So at the end of it, a regular guy (like a software engineer or a programmer) ends up being broke.

That's what the story is. :(. I'm not sure though, if this is the only reason. There might be n number of other reasons too. But who knows what the other reasons are. If you have some insight, please let me know ...

The Curse of Being an Indian Software Developer

I have been thinking about this recently. Though, the same topic has haunted me for a few years since I had access to Google. As I said in my earlier blog that I (and my other colleagues) never had access to an online search tool like Google. Now-a-days, kid software developers can generate huge chunks of codes/programs in no time. Thanks to Google and their skills to search on Google!

But the fact remains a fact. I have come across a number of technical websites and blogs where an Indian technical writer or contributor is abused for one reason or the other. I tried to think a lot over this thing. Is it real?? whatever the abuser says ... how much of that is true... When you get into a loop of this kind, you are just lost.

Later on I realised that not everything that is said about Indian software developers is either wrong or 100% correct. But both sides have some correctness.

See for example the comment on an article by an Indian developer on CodeProject.com. If you are a .Net developer and you have been doing some programming, you will agree that the article could have been more elaborative and it lacks some basic things (as of 16 Mar'09). Though, none of us can still pass a judgment on whether the developer "Manoj Rajan" who has written the article is a good developer/programmer or a Googler. Is he really trying to make a point or is he just trying to gain some brownie points by publishing an article on CodeProject so he can share the link with some of his friends/colleagues and show the link in his appraisal sheet as a contribution to technical forums.

Well, as I said, I have no idea and no clear-cut answers to any of these questions. It's only his who could have responded in a well defined way to who-so-ever posted the comment. Since, Manoj failed to reply to the comment or improve the article content, it became an acceptance of abuse, which pains me more.

I am not saying though, that all articles which are written by Indians are abused. For example, see this one on using WinDbg tool by an Indian author. She has really explained it well and the comments that followed the article are great. Reading through such an article makes me feel happy and proud (not simply because I'm an Indian but because I am a fellow-programmer).

There can be other instances however, where even a good article got abused. See for example this one on using MdiChild in windows development. Even a fellow Indian s/w developer comes and abuses. How sad. that too for a well explained article. Since the author was a C'pian (Code-projectian) and her husband is a big shot in code-project, the elaborate comment got deleted. (I had read the full comment earlier).

My whole point is this:

• If you are software developer from any part of the world, do not just depend upon Google. Have some know-how to explain things to people when needed. Writing a technical article demands certain basic skills to explain the underlying concepts or to troubleshoot the problems generated from your own code or to help other developers improve/improvise your code to suit their needs.
• Do not ever abuse any software programmer. If you think there is some problem with the article, let the author know what the article lacks by providing the author a positive comment or better still (if you are a developer yourself), by writing a technical article yourself on the same set of topics or a related post.
• Read ..read ....read ...and read more ..... It's the habit of reading that makes you understand more. Read as much of technical stuff as you can for your own understanding.
• Do not fake certifications. I have seen people writing articles on technical blogs, with signatures of MCTS/MCAD/MCSD, but the article did not go well with the explanations sought from the article's comments. So have a certification only when you are fully prepared. I remember, I scored 708 marks in my first certification that I had taken. While many other guys actually scored more than 950 or so.

Let me know what you think!!!

What To do on Mondays ? Bang your boss ;>)

Sunday evening becomes so boring. Not because you don't have much to do. But because you know that it's going to be Monday tomorrow. So you will have to go to the office (if you are employed :D). If you are not employed and you are a student, you are bored (and frustrated) because you have to go to the school/college/university etc.

I could not think of a class of people who would be overjoyed by the feeling of Monday except one. The share-brokers in bullish market times. :). In bearish market times, even their Mondays are frustrating. So overall, I don't think there is anyone on this earth (save me from all those workaholic people) who likes Monday. And for one such workaholic, there is no difference between any given day of the week and any other day :(.

When I was a school going kid (where I seldom went:D).. my teacher used to tell us (probably in grade 3 or 4) that "Man is a social animal". Well, I did not have doubt either in those days nor do I doubt it now that "Man is absolutely an ANIMAL" ..and I'm sure you will agree with "Yours Truly". But what bothers me is that we were never told that "Man is a LAZY animal". And that's why we do not like to work. See, all of you will agree that what work you do does not matter. One might like to program on a Monday, if one has never done programming all one's life. One might like to go and see the life of a steel factory worker on a Monday if one has been programming all one's life. So, it's not about what you do or where you work that makes the Mondays boring. It's the continuity of work that makes Mondays boring. So let's support the idea of rotation of work!

For example, on Mondays you can be The Boss of your usual day boss. (Keep in mind though, that on tuesday he/she will be back on the seat to hunt you down if you did something extra-exciting on your Monday). Or better still, you are allowed to have the freedom of switching your job every Monday (assuming you are not passing through a dark age of economic crisis :D).

hehe!!! Isn't all of this getting exciting ??
Alec Smart of Bachi Karkaria would have opined : How about getting rid of Mondays from the calender!

Warren buffet's Principle in current US economy

I came across something that caught my attention a few days back. It's about the economy and the current economic situation.

It describes the economic situation and how economy progresses and depresses in the following picture.

I hear that the following speech is by Warren Buffet but don't know if that's true. It's called Warren Buffet's Principle. He says ...

"We begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism. Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial illness that has infected our families, organizations and nations.

Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness and help them recover their financial health. They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies, forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.

Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future. This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each passing year, I grow wiser and not older.

This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.

Hard work : All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only to poverty.

Laziness : A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.

Earnings : Never depend on a single source of income.

Spending : If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.

Savings : Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.

Accounting : It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.

Auditing : Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.

Risk-taking : Never test the depth of the river with both feet.

Investment : Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these principles remain financially healthy. I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health.

Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful life."

-- Warren Buffet

Well going by the picture,

We are at 5 right now......GOOD TIMES RETURN AT 6, SO CHEER UP!

My Google Adsense income is more than $193000

I could not resist subscribing to the "Monetize" tab on my blog customization tab. And you must be wondering how I started making an immediate income through Google Adsense. Well, My first day was a great start with over $159,000 but today has been going on much better with a new all-time record of more than $193,000 within last 6 hours. You want to know how ... :)

Well, not exactly true! My blog is for my fun only. But I'm sure many of the people must have told you or you might have come across many sites where the owner/blogger claims to be earning several thousands dollar each day via Google AdSense. And he is seen to be having either a screenshot or a photograph of a check.
Something like this in one of the ads on a site :

Now you can create your own proof by entering your amount in dollars into the Google Adsense Generator and show your friends that you are a AdSense-millionaire too.

Just goto http://googleadsensegenerator.com/ and start making money :).

Innovations in the early morning hours!

This is early Saturday morning and I was woken up by a phone call from India. Had to sit up and do some Google for a sample piece of code that allows to connect and transfer files from Windows machine to a UNIX machine and vice-versa. Though I have written many similar programs on a Windows box in VB6 as well as VB.Net and C# 2.0, they were all simple programs to interact with TCP/IP based servers and clients. I was not sure if this one would be different, so thought I'll give Google a chance too :D.

It came up with quite a few links but interestingly it is not supposed to be any different than whatever code I have written in the past. Still could not make up my mind to write some sample code again so early in the morning... that too on a weekend! Oh, c'mon man. give me a break!

So decided to forward the links with some sample codes.
I have started to like Google ! :). I remember, in my starting days as a programmer, we were a bunch of excited thunderbolts (Yes, all of them were thunderbolts) working @ NSDL thinking we can program any damn thing in no time. And frankly speaking WE DID!. But the code we wrote might not have been the best quality code, I guess. We wrote a full fledged PAN and TAN systems for Government of India. The architecture of the system still brings smile on my face.
We were supposed to develop a windows service. So far none of us (including our seniors and module leaders) had written a windows service. With no access to Google at that time, my module leader decided I'll have to write a program that will continue in an infinite do ...while loop. With proper CPU usage and proper handling of all possible cases, I wrote it. Frankly speaking, we were just two people at one point of time working on the system: Me and Amol Patil. Everyone who knows Amol can easily guess that it was Amol's idea :D. haha ! We got a huge client appreciation for developing the application (so called Windows service) which used to keep an eye on the changed files in multiple Windows directories on local machine and process them. We achieved processing as good a number as 14000 files a day initially which obviously went up as the aplications started cooming during early March (Tax filing time in April :)). And believe me or not, that was a huge number for NSDL and Government of India :D.
A few days later I did stumble upon a way, on local MSDN help, to implement Windows service. Though, it seemed to me to have been written in Arabic, still I managed to write my first Windows service with no infinite do ...while loop at 4 AM in the morning. :D. That was an amazing experience. I felt elated and so happy. It felt like I was the best programmer in the world :D, only to get an enlightening comment from my colleague & friend (Shaji) to stop working on desktop development projects since the world is going web.
My bragging came to an end the very same day only to bring up a new full featured intranet website the following morning! Voila! Watch this stupid guy. That again was in the early morning hours! I kept myself awake throughout the previous night to bring up my first website and I aptly named it as Victory. hehe :). Shaji brought me into the web-world! I really thank him to this day :D. Otherwise I would have remained a kid doing a lot of desktop development. Thanks Shaji. and thanks Amol.

I begin to think, all my innovations have happened in the early morning hour. Before this really gets into my head, I better go to sleep again!

The Oscar fever

It's been more than a week now that the Oscar fever is gone. But truly speaking, it's picking up more in India now. Since an Indian cinema, Slumdog Millionaire, (though I am not sure if I should really call it an Indian cinema but I'll take this privilege considering that the star cast is Indian) got quite a few Oscars, a number of people now claim or comment on the Oscars that A.R. Rehman received or upon anything remotely related to Indian Oscar :). I found an e-mail in my mailbox day before yesterday which truly shows the Indian phenomenon. I am sharing these images here but I don't know if these images are copyrighted. If you know the copyrights, let me know so I can give due credits.

This one is for the director Danny Boyle. It shows Danny saying (I quote) "Throughout my life I had been looking for a good plot without knowing that the Oscar is hidden in the Slums of India".

And no one can disagree on the following cartoon. All the Indian politicians will sure keep trying to keep the slums alive in every Indian metro and elsewhere. I have purposefully not used the word Indian leaders because none of the politicians (and I want to emphasise, NO ONE) is a leader.

This one shows an Indian politician saying "We want to bag more Oscars next year. Therefore, we have decided to expand the slum area in India" :)

This cartoon takes away the Oscar from all the cartoons. :). It shows an Indian politician saying : "We also contributed a lot in getting home the Oscar because even after 60 years of independence, we did not allow the slums to be developed".

This one shows the state of the people still living under the line of poverty. According to available data from 2007 estimates, 25% people in India are still living below the poverty line. An Indian politician is shown saying the legendary "Jai ho!" to poor beggars who are saying "What Jai ho! ? Now we even got you an Oscar. At least get us a meal now!"

But this one is hilarious. One can find so many of these singing kids in the Mumbai local trains or in any passenger train in India, whose lives are ruined. Some of them truly grab the attention of the passengers by the way they sing. I remember watching and listening to one such singer when I was traveling from my hometown to New Delhi. The little kid was hitting his chest continuously to give an impression of some kind of music going along with the song.

This cartoon is showing two poor beggar kids saying "Our 'Slum music' also might get a place in the film industry!".

I know this does not sound good. but alas, when will we be able to save our own people from misery. God bless India and Indians.